This is the fifth chapter of No Word from “Coach”. If you have not read it yet, I recommend starting with the first chapter:
10.05: According to the report, humans label the days of the week following a linear set of rules and a widely shared consensus that remains stable over time: they are “Monday”, “Tuesday”, “Wednesday”… until “Sunday”. This consensus, however, collapses once they enter the sports field. The labels are no longer the same and change from week to week. For example, a “Monday” may be labeled inside the field as +1, +2, -4 or -3… —among other possibilities. These labels correspond to the time elapsed since the previous competition and the time remaining until the next one. (We have already seen that many “coaches” tend to make war —”training”— in order to achieve peace —”competition”.) What is predetermined, though, is what must be done on each of these days. If it is +1 or +2, it must be a light session, and those who played less must exert themselves physically —not to improve or accelerate development, but to compensate for something they call “loads”. On -4 or -3, work is oriented toward the upcoming match and many “automatisms” —as if they were machines...— must be performed. On -1, the match is very close. It is imperative to carry out a playful exercise —can they only have fun on day -1?—, fixed corner-kick or free-kick patterns, finishing drills, and some “small-sided games”.
10.07: From the stands, we observe that the person who demanded our accreditations —and expelled us from the video training room a few minutes ago— is walking toward us, facial muscles severely tensed. In the time it takes him to lift and replant his right foot on the ground, we review the safety protocols from the report. We find two options: (1) to say “Calm down! Do not shoot! I am mentally retarded!” and reinforce it with the sentence: “Israel has the right to defend itself. It is not a genocide but a war.” We hesitate. A similar strategy had previously brought us not safety, but the opposite. (2) To adopt the physical appearance of two human infants —beings who represent innocence and curiosity, rather than adult distrust and insecurity. We choose the second.
10.08: The muscles on the person’s face relax and his mouth describes a turn from convexity to concavity.
10.10: At a distance of 0.5 meters, he tells us to follow him; that what we are about to experience today, not everyone can say they have lived it.
10.11: We arrive at the grass of the field. He says we can sit on the bench throughout the session. We ask if we may ask questions.
10.12: He says that here, the questions are his to ask.
10.13: The curiosity algorithm invites us to inquire about what his players are doing, performing a choreography or executing movements with materials from other sports at really low intensity. We cannot. We therefore assume it is what they call “warm-up”: a supposedly essential process that prepares the body to do what the body already knows how to do: move and adapt. Apparently, it is an organic process of progressive adaptation that they have turned into an artificialized ritual. This process, where the sympathetic nervous system activates and blood vessels dilate so that muscles consume more oxygen, is something the human body already does spontaneously whenever it transitions from rest to activity. Yet it seems that if this is not directed by a “physical coach”, it does not occur —as if this “coach” were the one activating all those processes in their bodies.
10.15: Citcat of Snorom asks me, Duarf of the Euqinhcet, whether I can internally formulate the hypothetical scenario of a hunter-gatherer or a cheetah saying: “Damn, I am really hungry but I can’t chase that prey that I do not know when it is going to appear again because I have not done my ’warm-up’.”
10.17: No word from “coach”.
10.18: It is becoming quite clear to us that humans have a systematic tendency to invent problems in order to become their own saviors.